pay_the_piper: (Default)
First let me say this- I have played many other muses over the course of my LJ/GJ/IJ RP times, however, I only list characters that I will still play at least in random intervals. If a character comes off the list it is because I just do not think I will ever really pick them up again. I might even delete their journals eventually. There are even characters here that I don't play that often, but haven't completely written off yet. However, just because a character is on the list does not mean that I am inclined to play them at the drop of a hat. There are some characters here that I've not removed simply because I do not want to offend people by taking them down, but I honestly have little to no interest in playing. I've taken all my IJ characters off the list, just because I really don't play them. And I've just be 'eh' about a lot of my Godlings for a while.

Anyway- Zee list.

Down the Rabbit's Hole. )
pay_the_piper: (Default)
SO, there is a high chance no one will be nearly as amused by this but me. However, LJ's Stupid_free made me laugh.
pay_the_piper: (blue girl)
I’ve been trying to figure it out for days. I mean, obviously there is something in my RP that makes me want more. And it isn’t the same as just wanting to do more of what I’m doing, though there isn’t really anything wrong with it. It is more that I want more of the dark, cold and painfully things that I just don’t get to do. And in some ways I don’t want to be the only one that indulges in the dark, dirty world of that side of RP.

Except for Kate. Because she’ll RP Cannabalism meals. She has told me as much.

I need something dark, and I need it to not just be my character being dark. I know plenty of people would be willing to let bad things happen to their muses, but that really isn’t the point. I need, I suppose, a partner in darkness (if that makes any sense).

I’m not sure I’ll ever find them. :/


I have to admit, I really do feel like I've been a bit of a let down for some of my RP partners. I wish I could be better. I really want to be better, honest. I just suppose there are times I don't think I'm that great of an RPer in the end, or even that good of a writer. (It might also just be one of those 'woe is me' days too.)

I mean how does someone really judge how much talent they have? If I looked back to my writing classes, I made As in all of them. But the question is, was it because I was good? Or because I wrote technically well? (Trust me, I proof read my class work a hell of a lot better than RP.)

Mm. I don't know...
pay_the_piper: (fake grin)
Hey Mo! Rach! I have a Sign JUST FOR US!!!

OOoooh, I'm tempted to send that to a few LJ Team members <.<.

I'm not bitter.



I'm not going to send this to people when they piss me off and I want to be a brat:

pay_the_piper: (Default)
What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf unread, or get checked out of the library and returned unread.

Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish, strikethrough the ones you actually own but haven’t read.

The List o'Unread Doom...or something )
pay_the_piper: (LMAO)
Dear LiveJournal user silenziosa_odio,

Thank you for providing the requested information. We have been able to determine that the most likely scenario is that a permanently banned user has been accessing your account. We will un-suspend your account so that you can re-secure it. You can find instructions on how to re-secure your account in the FAQ located here:

Please note, however, that if we find any further evidence that a permanently banned user is logging on to your account to use LiveJournal, it may be suspended. You should never share your LiveJournal password or e-mail password with anyone else, as you will be held responsible for any actions they commit while logged onto your account.


LiveJournal Abuse Prevention Team
pay_the_piper: (green eyes)
A crazy little theory, and at the risk of whatever, but I want to share. Mostly because the way I have decided to explain this theory amuses the hell out of me. So, you can read and laugh...or you can play hopscotch with drunk elephants. I really don't care...


Theory: Some months ago Party A and Party B coexisted in a crazy little half peace mutual existence. Life was grand. In Fact, some of Party A only knew part of Party B, and well the whole break one of it is pretty mundane. Now Party A and Party B have all these little friends that intermingle, chatting and playing and loving each other freely. I shall introduce several characters.

Cuddly Bear. Now Cuddly bear is friends with Party B, having known some members of that party for years. They chatter and play, and Cuddly Bear loves to hug them lots because then they smile, and like all bears of that kind, Cuddly Bear adores smiles above all things.

But Cuddly Bear's Bestest Friend is Cuddly Pony, who is really great friends with Party A! And like Cuddly Bear, Cuddly Pony has been friends with Party A for a long time and too likes to see smiles. It really is no wonder they are friends, right?

There is also Pretty Kitty, who Cuddly Bear and Pony are both friends with and Pretty Kitty, who is Bestest Friends with someone in Party A.

((We know, by now, that most of this has no point, but it is fun,

Now Cuddly Bear, Cuddly Pony, and Pretty Kitty have no real interest in the Drama that goes on around Pretendy-Land. They like to play tea party with Barbie Dolls and sip orange juice from plastic thimbles...

But then Party B and Party A started to fight over a misunderstanding, and Cuddly Bear was sadly upset when it call came back to her because Cuddly Bear only ever had bits and pieces and had no idea what was going on. The things she heard was upsetting!

And Party B, having been such good friends did something that maybe Party B shouldn't have, but did it anyway. But when the hissy fits settled, Party B and Party A and Cuddly Bear all talked and everything was cleared up and then there was happy times again!

Only then part of Party B was tossed out of Pretendy-Land because Some in Party A just wanted to warn them, but the Evil KGB Overlords of Pretendy-Land dropped axes and severed everything!

((Note: Evil EGB Overlords= Bad case the point was missed.))

And the rest of Party B and Cuddly Bear were sad and hurt. They clung to the kicked out part and made homes in the Funtime-Land, but it wasn't the same. Pretendy-Land was still were everything was, and Funtime-Land was bleak and empty feeling.

But life went on, and everyone from Party A went here and Party B there, and then Cuddly Bear went back to tea parties with Cuddly Pony and Pretty Kitty! Life was mostly happy again...

And then this Party C, previously unknown to Cuddly Bear, started coming around, and no one knew what to expect. And one morning Party B called Cuddly Bear and said the worst of worst! Cuddly Bear was kicked out of Pretendy-Land too!

And then Pretendy-Land Evil KGB Overlords didn't tell Cuddly Bear why, only that she had to go away from Cuddly Pony and Pretty Kittie and all Cuddly Bear's Tea Party friends! And when the Evil EGB Overlords finally talked to Cuddly Bear they were mean, and only said they might help if Cuddly Bear could prove someone else was in her Pretendy-Land home.

And Cuddly Bear could, and she didn't know who it was, and she was sads and angry. She turned to Party B, and they said they thought it was Party A! So Cuddly Bear asked someone in Party A...but they didn't do it. They said they thought maybe it was Party C, but didn't really come out and say it.

So then Cuddly Bear was without home, and stuck in Funtime-Land with only an umbrella to hide her from the rain. And Cuddly Bear was wet and cold...and angry. Very angry.

And then Cuddly Bear decided: "If I'm going to be punished by the Evil EGB Overlords, I want to know what drama I was supposedly all involved in!"

And so Cuddly Bear started asking questions about things she had never asked about before. Things like who was Party C, how did they know Cuddly Bear's name, where did Party C fit in with Party A and B, and why did Party A not like Party B, and why did Party B not like Party A....

And then Cuddly Bear began to wonder. If it wasn't Party A, and it wasn't Party B, and both parties said that Party C was friends with the other party...

Who was Party C really friends with?

Party C made Cuddly Bear she decided to not really talk to them, and instead wanted scoby snacks for at least coming up to the conclusion that Party C might have important information, but that the Drama was too damn draining.

So Cuddly Bear decide that if the Pretendy-Land Evil EGB Overlords finally gave back her Pretendy-Land home, that maybe she won't go back. Esp since Cuddly Pony and Pretty Kitty and all the Barbies came to play with her in Funtime-Land.

The End.



I probably broke my brain with that, but it amused me last night when I was trying to explain the theory to them.

I also want an Icon that reads: "Suck my imaginary Cock" if only because that makes me laugh too.

Tata for now.
pay_the_piper: (Fuck this game!)

I have space for 250 fucking icons...and I have 37 WTF.

I want my icons back, and I want like...a pretty fucking layout that I don't have to make myself and for someone to teach me how to write the damn codes of the S2 layer crap and for all this bullshit to go away.
pay_the_piper: (grrrr)
I'm not done yet, never mind the 'Good Night' part.

Ok, seriously...I've never been into the drama game. Ask my closest friends, I haven't. Hell, Mo tells me all about what is going on here or there or whatever and most of the time I'm always saying "wait, what? When? Last week?....I didn't know about it."

So, get it? I'm the Anti-Drama. My Muses might have put the Llama in Drama as Hermes would say, but not me.

So you know, whatever. But I want to say this, ok? When you come to me and make this whole "omg I can't believe this, blah blah blah so unfair, blah blah blah BLAH" whatever speech, and then do not speak to the people you are so called friends with? Don't be surprised they are a little ticked when you finally acknowledge their plight, ok?

You make them feel like they are second rate and the black plague of social standing, and you think it is their fault for being upset at a time when emotions are all running high? Yeah, look, ya obviously have issues, ok?



Whatever the hell the bloody drama shit that started this crap and the whole "they are cool, I want to play with them" (just imagine the sock puppets, k?) "but if I want to play with the Cool!Guys OMG I can't be seen with the nice-but-loser-high-school-black-plague-of-society-group-that-omg-EVERYONE-important-so-doesn't-think-is-cool-and-like -commit-social-suicide-to-speak-with" So you want until they are suspended from "OMGCOOLLAND" to fucking "CRAZYLAND" before you breathe a word to them about playing again and they seem a bit...I don't know, reluctant? And you cop an attitude...




Mar. 17th, 2008 12:05 am
pay_the_piper: (fuck you)

Thank You all and fucking good night.

Fed up!

Mar. 17th, 2008 12:01 am
pay_the_piper: (fed up)

I have NEVER been one of those "Oh I don't know, I don't want to talk to so and so because I don't know them" people?

But I am now.

If I don't know you? If my friends don't know you, or do not have good things to say about you? I'm really not sure about letting myself find out for myself anymore. How the fuck am I supposed to trust people when crap like this happens?


pay_the_piper: (Looking up)
It isn't enough is it? To feel alone and forgotten, it just isn't enough at all is it? Nothing is ever enough... Not until you feel so small and unimportant that nothing could ever pick you up again. There isn't a point to having anything friends locked, because there is no one to read it. There isn't a point to posting anything fun or happy because there is no one to share with.

Sure, there are the people who are waiting to yell about how 'fucking emo' this is, I'm sure. I expect it, really. Someone out that is bound to get a kick out of the misery they put people through, and I'm almost positive whoever is behind this whole mess is the one that gets the biggest laugh.

The laugh because I'm the one at the bottom of the well that can't decide what they want more...the mud to bury them, or someone to drop a rope. Everything is out of reach, out of touch and the fucking world goes on without you.

And no one cares anymore. After a day or two passes it doesn't matter, it doesn't affect them...big deal, right?

It matters to me.

It matters that aside from the people that are in the same damn boat with me, that no one has bothered to ask what's going on. The mods to the communities I was in didn't ask what happened, I was just removed. No one cared that I just disappeared...

That is what it feels like.

My Friends all say "Fuck LJ they suck!" But hey...They are still there. Can't move journals or anything, because that would require too many things. Because everyone is a sheep and everyone has to stick to the herd and god forbid they step out of the box...take a chance.

I'm tired of the positive happy words, and I'm tired of waiting for something I feel isn't ever going to happen. I'm tired of RP, and I'm bored of doing nothing. I'm sick to death of people trying to make me smile, and I scream at myself for crying.

Its just a bunch of journals, right? Why should it matter so much to me?
pay_the_piper: (Jude excuse me)
So, Blair and I were talking Friday. And it boiled down, basically, to why stay where the KGB are getting their dirty Commie fingers into your things??

And? Before someone starts screaming "Russia isn't Communist and there isn't any KGB anymore!" Yeah...I know. I also know that Putin was formerly a member of KGB. So whatever.

Also....I was thinking about making a post for some friends with my new address and everything when it occurred to me that- HA! Oh right, no one that needs it would be able to read it! Ok so, yeah whatever.

Whatever is holding LJ up on this abuse crap? Needs to get out of the way, damnit.
pay_the_piper: (Want to try that again?)
48 hours since my last post Livejournal's Abuse Team. Four days since I was suspended unexplainablely.

I can't tell if I'm beyond anger, or if I'm smoldering so much that I cannot see it any longer. But the waiting? The wait is killing me, and all the 'oh it just takes time' is bullshit. Takes time? It only took 11 hours to reply to me the first time. So why should this take 2 days or more? What are they doing?

My hope is dwindling. I'm depressed still, because I've lost so much that was dear to me, and no one has even been man enough to step up and say "oh...I did it."

Come the fuck on. If you have the damn balls to report someone to abuse, have them banned, and get a laugh out of it? Be man enough to say you fucking did it.
pay_the_piper: (fed up)
Alright, in a more orderly fashion. First off, I am sorry for so many 'notes' to the matter, but as you can see this is a very stressful thing. I have not given permission for anyone to be in my journals, and had (until now) no knowledge of the fact that someone was apparently logging into my accounts. I have found a number of IPs to places that I do not know, or have not been to in a number of months. There is no reason for my logins to have these IP addresses and I am very upset to find them.

Secondly, I have changed all the passwords to my known accounts (through the aid of username finder) and with the exceptions of the communties they are secure.

Lastly, and perhaps most upsetting to me personally is that it has been suggested to me that this is a personal attack related to my friendship with a suspended (LJ user= Ramdonomo) user. I would like to say I have NOT given anyone permission to be using my journals. I have been sympathetic to my friend, but I have never sent her any word saying 'please just use this for LJ' in any fashion. I feel I am being harassed due to my friendship and I would like to have this situation investigated on all levels due to the emotional stress this has put me and the others suspended through. As I do not know who has made this complaint, all I can do is trust that Livejournal will do so.

((As a note, I am posting this for reference, because I do not want to be accused of pointing fingers. If I have to, I will post Screen shots, because this drama fucking has to stop with someone.))


Mar. 11th, 2008 10:59 pm
pay_the_piper: (Fist Heath)
Dear silenziosa_odio,

Thank you for your request. It has been brought to our attention that your accounts have been used to access LiveJournal in violation of a Termination of Service, a situation in which a user is no longer welcome to create or use accounts on this service. As this is a violation of the LiveJournal Terms of Service, to which you agreed when you created your accounts, your accounts have been permanently suspended.

If you feel that your accounts have been compromised by unauthorized access, and are willing to resecure your accounts, we may be able to assist you. Even while your accounts are suspended you may check your recent login sessions ( Should you identify access to your accounts which were not authorized to you, please reply to this correspondence with that information.


LiveJournal Abuse Prevention Team


Mar. 11th, 2008 03:15 pm
pay_the_piper: (O.o)
Personalities clash online, we see it every day for those of us that, yes, make it a community. We have friends, family, loved ones all wrapped up in a little world known as the World Wide Web. International boundaries are dropped and it ceases to limit us to the possibilities life lets us explore and experience everything in the comfort of our own little box. We feel safe, comfortable and detached despite the petty arguments that invade our world over silly little things like roleplaying, or other anonymous pastimes.

And then the inevitable. Someone takes this peaceful community and begins to twist it into something malicious and cruel, then everything that has been dreamed up, written, or even commented to in a se blah mood is gone. The world is cracked open and the heartless demeanor of so called ‘good people’ is exposed and reality sets in. People who in real life would fear letting truth out, have no fear of their darkest nature.

So here it is, my live journals have been deleted with no prior warning and no explanation. Only a phone call at noon today even alerted me to the need to glance at them and just see. With a great deal of anger, and heartbreak I realized the worst of fears…

My writings were gone. My memories, my conversations, and my laughter stolen. Not a mention of why, or when. Only the harsh white page that read ‘suspended user’ glaring at me with a 9mm pistol aimed for my heart.

Dramatic, yes?

Imagine a world that you see as perfect for you, your home just the way you like it, money and time invested into it with unerring dedication. You leave it for work, think nothing of it. Then a neighbor calls, says you should come home, and the sight that greets you is nothing short of pure astonishment. All of your things taken by strangers, and police locking your from everything. Not even giving you the chance to pack a bag, or take even the most dearest of memories.

This is no less, and no more than that. Having had someone pull you to a full stop and drop the road out from beneath you and laugh. “What now? I have your parachute…” and then they push.

You fall.

Sure they say I have a chance to win it all back, but what then? Wait for someone else to get upset and do it all again? What promises do I have that this will not be a repeated crime against me? Or my friends?

Livejournal? More like Livejoke. Their customer service is lacking. It has been heavily implied that the abuse team is being used for personal vendettas, and lastly? People are being attacked without any other reason than for whom they keep company.

I’m not one to judge, my friends are human. They make their mistakes, they do their wrongs, and the world puts them on their ass. But they are still my friends. I refuse to turn away because someone else does not like them…they know that.

So when a friend of mine was suspended from Livejournal for an incident of her own doing, I did not turn a blind eye. I was aware she made the mistake, and yes I was still angry she was suspended. It is natural, we all have those feelings when something doesn’t go the way we imagine justice should. Like a father who goes to prison for killing a boy trying to rape his daughter. Justice is not always what we think is fair, but we have to accept it.

What I do not have to accept is being suspended for reasons I cannot even fathom.

What have I done? I frankly would like to know. Was it the simple act of friended a journal that belonged to a suspended user? Was it something a creature, notoriously brash and rude, had said? Well? I’m waiting for an answer still… I’d like to know. I have a right to know.

This little box of mine? Not so little anymore, and there is a sickness growing inside of it. One that is full of malcontempt and maliciousness. Like any disease it will grow, it will spread. So who is the first to say “stop”?

April 2011

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