And I assumed that it was on, as we had discussed - in two or three months' time. That is kinda sorta different from not interested, you know. And no, I am not upset at you not poking more than I do; I am upset about not getting heads-up for the timing of major stuff or stuff that I'd suggested myself that I want to be a part of. Have I ever done that with either to either of you? I know I have a bit more of background on that with Ana; she may not have even noticed, but unless I get her acknowledgment about what is happening, I don't even post not-interaction-requiring fics that involve her muses.
Yes, I am active elsewhere. Having trouble playing/writing Hathor means, among other things, that I don't get pulls out of her, 'do this now', so she ends up essentially reactive. Other muses are different. They give loud reactions to things they even shouldn't; the rant in my head for days until I write a 3 or 5k words fic for them (which, if it involves other muses, gets cleared by the muns before getting posted, too). I don't have that here. But when I have a situation, I work out Hathor's involvement, or try to. Except, outside very simple situations, it takes me a while to work out the exact course of action. That requires time and attention. Which, when I have even a bit of advance warning, I can schedule or prepare for. But I've been getting none. With some muses, I can do that (although not at the moment, the last two weeks, I keep out of ANY sort of plots, because I honestly had a crapload to do. Which those reading my journal could have been aware of.) With a few, Hathor among them, not so much.
*sighs* When I mean 'you are not interesting to play with', I say that. Or rather, I do not remark at all. I may have taken a bit on some threads, but I have always come back to them until they have at least some concept of the story being told, haven't I? That is part of why I have difficulty tagging in - I don't know what to DO with a muse on that post.
We are having brief flurries of activity and shifts all the time. Then we come back. I cannot maintain eight storylines going on at the same time simultaneously. I work a bit on one or three, move them until they reach some point that's (usually) mutually agreeable, then move to others, then come back when the muses of one or more of the people involved feel like it. You see it as dying; I see it as holding until there's reason to move further. And I am willing to move with it, so long as I know it's coming.
Right now, I am not capable of effective communication. The post I made was signifying of that. It means "I'm out of cope, deal with me now at your own risk." I don't know when the stress will let up, this certainly isn't helping. And I KNOW that right now I'm out of it. So, in order to cut the damage on all sides, I'm pulling back from involvement in that plot and letting you guys play it as you wish - I can at this time neither enjoy it nor participate qualitatively. I have been available every time when I've been let know that there's something to discuss. I haven't ignored any messages, on journal or over IM. Outside of honestly struggling with writing a character, whom I like anyhow, I don't see how I have been worse off in communication with you guys than with a number of other people. And yet you two are the ones who end up pushing things IC without OOC warning. No, I am definitely not perfect. But I also do not deserve being pushed into IC situations without anybody paying mind if I'm up to it at the time. Literally and figuratively.
No, EJ. I do not see you as a wallflower. In this sandbox, I see you as a driving force. And rely on letting me know when and in what direction, since my momentum and push is insufficient. But all I get is put before fait acomplits. Which. Isn't always fun-times.
no subject
Yes, I am active elsewhere. Having trouble playing/writing Hathor means, among other things, that I don't get pulls out of her, 'do this now', so she ends up essentially reactive. Other muses are different. They give loud reactions to things they even shouldn't; the rant in my head for days until I write a 3 or 5k words fic for them (which, if it involves other muses, gets cleared by the muns before getting posted, too). I don't have that here. But when I have a situation, I work out Hathor's involvement, or try to. Except, outside very simple situations, it takes me a while to work out the exact course of action. That requires time and attention. Which, when I have even a bit of advance warning, I can schedule or prepare for. But I've been getting none. With some muses, I can do that (although not at the moment, the last two weeks, I keep out of ANY sort of plots, because I honestly had a crapload to do. Which those reading my journal could have been aware of.) With a few, Hathor among them, not so much.
*sighs* When I mean 'you are not interesting to play with', I say that. Or rather, I do not remark at all. I may have taken a bit on some threads, but I have always come back to them until they have at least some concept of the story being told, haven't I? That is part of why I have difficulty tagging in - I don't know what to DO with a muse on that post.
We are having brief flurries of activity and shifts all the time. Then we come back. I cannot maintain eight storylines going on at the same time simultaneously. I work a bit on one or three, move them until they reach some point that's (usually) mutually agreeable, then move to others, then come back when the muses of one or more of the people involved feel like it. You see it as dying; I see it as holding until there's reason to move further. And I am willing to move with it, so long as I know it's coming.
Right now, I am not capable of effective communication. The post I made was signifying of that. It means "I'm out of cope, deal with me now at your own risk." I don't know when the stress will let up, this certainly isn't helping. And I KNOW that right now I'm out of it. So, in order to cut the damage on all sides, I'm pulling back from involvement in that plot and letting you guys play it as you wish - I can at this time neither enjoy it nor participate qualitatively. I have been available every time when I've been let know that there's something to discuss. I haven't ignored any messages, on journal or over IM. Outside of honestly struggling with writing a character, whom I like anyhow, I don't see how I have been worse off in communication with you guys than with a number of other people. And yet you two are the ones who end up pushing things IC without OOC warning. No, I am definitely not perfect. But I also do not deserve being pushed into IC situations without anybody paying mind if I'm up to it at the time. Literally and figuratively.
No, EJ. I do not see you as a wallflower. In this sandbox, I see you as a driving force. And rely on letting me know when and in what direction, since my momentum and push is insufficient. But all I get is put before fait acomplits. Which. Isn't always fun-times.