pay_the_piper | Crying again...

It isn't enough is it? To feel alone and forgotten, it just isn't enough at all is it? Nothing is ever enough... Not until you feel so small and unimportant that nothing could ever pick you up again. There isn't a point to having anything friends locked, because there is no one to read it. There isn't a point to posting anything fun or happy because there is no one to share with.

Sure, there are the people who are waiting to yell about how 'fucking emo' this is, I'm sure. I expect it, really. Someone out that is bound to get a kick out of the misery they put people through, and I'm almost positive whoever is behind this whole mess is the one that gets the biggest laugh.

The laugh because I'm the one at the bottom of the well that can't decide what they want more...the mud to bury them, or someone to drop a rope. Everything is out of reach, out of touch and the fucking world goes on without you.

And no one cares anymore. After a day or two passes it doesn't matter, it doesn't affect them...big deal, right?

It matters to me.

It matters that aside from the people that are in the same damn boat with me, that no one has bothered to ask what's going on. The mods to the communities I was in didn't ask what happened, I was just removed. No one cared that I just disappeared...

That is what it feels like.

My Friends all say "Fuck LJ they suck!" But hey...They are still there. Can't move journals or anything, because that would require too many things. Because everyone is a sheep and everyone has to stick to the herd and god forbid they step out of the box...take a chance.

I'm tired of the positive happy words, and I'm tired of waiting for something I feel isn't ever going to happen. I'm tired of RP, and I'm bored of doing nothing. I'm sick to death of people trying to make me smile, and I scream at myself for crying.

Its just a bunch of journals, right? Why should it matter so much to me?