I am not amused, no lie.

[pay_the_piper]

So, I thought this week was going to be better than last. Wrong. Jesus fucking Christ, people, have you all lost your fucking minds? There are things I want to say, but I can't out of interest of not hurting feelings, but my lord do I want to tell you all something.

First an for most? Fucking stop it. Step back and look at yourselves in the damn mirror and ask yourself what you are doing.

You, seriously. Have you stopped thinking about yourself long enough to realize that you are not the only person in this situation that has feelings that can and will be hurt? You've never, NEVER expressed much interest in this plot. Oh, yeah, I know you'd argue the counter-point, but let me put it to you this way. The only things you've added to the plot have been small, off to the side, and rare. You've never posted unless prompted many times over, and you've never gone out of your way to actually make people feel that you were interested beyond saying "OH I love this idea." That doesn't count as interested. You have made people feel boxed in and under-appreciated, and above all- you have made this time and time again about you. This is not your sandbox, these plots were decided on by the people that were most active in the RP, and it is not and never will be their responsibility to make sure you are on top of things.

You were given the option to follow the post or not. It clearly states that it does not affect everyone unless you want to it affect you. This is not worth the drama you've brought to the table. This isn't a problem with the other poster, this is a problem with you. Stop it. Stop being a selfish child.

And you? Stop hiding behind the wall. If things bother you, or upset you tell people before they become a problem. Yes, I know you are aware of your folly, and I know that you didn't mean to hurt feelings, and that your are upset right now. But if you had stepped up and told people how you felt before now? This wouldn't be the issue that it is. Sometimes you have to realize that you just can't RP with someone, be it personality quirks or simple disagreement on style.

You need to learn that while conflict is tiresome, and bad sometimes? It is a part of communication and cannot be avoided all the time. This could have been avoided in part if you'd only spoken up.

However, I've told you this time and time again, and I will not beat the dead horse.


All told? You both need to step back and realize that with high emotions neither of you are going to accomplish anything. And also? You both had bad days, I get it, but don't take your bad days out on each other over a trivial matter that should not, and never will be that big a deal.

When RPing becomes a big enough issue that it 'wrecks' your whole day? You need to stop, step back, and re-evaluate your life. You need to re-establish your IC/OOC lines, and you need to communicate. However? Communication goes both ways, so before you start screaming, stop and think about how well you've communicated with the person you are upset with, verses how well they've communicated with you. Stop focusing on 'them' and realize that conflict requires you to look inward and acknowledge your own faults before you can communicate precisely what it bothering you.

That being said?

Enough of it. Cut the passive-aggressive sniping out. It does not make you look like the adults you claim to be.

Comments

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

If it is about what I think it is, no, it's not been a bad day. It's been a week from hell. And no, how could I show interest in that part of the plot, since I've never heard of it? And I have said repeatedly that writing that muse is problematic and difficult. And the bulk of the PR that happens is while I am asleep or too tired to be coherent, which ends up with me having to catch up with things - or missing them entirely, which additionally kills the interest.

But the bit that gets me to explode, and that's not dependent on bad days? Is lack of elementary communication. And no, I was not the only person not aware of that development coming, among other people who play there and should be affected, regardless of which 'option' one chooses (because there will be consequences to all, even if the spell itself doesn't work on them. Which is WHY heads up are important).

Anyhoo, go ahead and play it however you wish; I'm too out of cope to be able to process to the satisfaction of my own standards for what I do play out. And way too out of cope to be able to process where my trust about playing in that sandbox is anymore, and if I want to work on fixing it.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

I'm going to take this one point at a time. And I want you to understand that this is in no way meant to hurt your feelings, but to try to explain what I mean. I do think if you cannot read it objectively, you do need to step back.

First off- I am sorry you've have a rough week. You aren't the only person that has stress going on, though, and if feels to me as if you are using it to justify your behavior.

Secondly- You hurt Ana's feelings by making your post on LJ public for everyone to see. That isn't just a lack of communication, but to use your own words? "A nasty move".

Thirdly- You have never asked me what was going on with the plot unless I mentioned something before hand. I am aware that the character was difficult for you to write, but you honestly made Ana feel like she needed your permission to post anything. And when you have taken part in the plotting? It would take would take a lot of pushing and prodding to get things done.

The point is, She did her best to let people know she was doing it. And when and how you reacted was left up to you but she had an idea that she wanted to post. It is unfair of you to expect her to wait for you to read it and stamp your okay before she does anything.

I think you need to step back from this, and realize that you are both wrong. Yes, she could have mentioned it before hand, but you also didn't have to be passive-aggressive snide. You cannot expect people to treat you better if you cannot treat them as respectfully.

I've already told Ana just about everything I can about her part in this. And if you want to say I'm bias, you can. But honestly, Kiki? You are just as guilty of a lack of communication as Ana.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

*wry* I have stepped back.

I may be justifying my actions. Or just explaining why an inconsiderate action (and godmodding, which is the reason why I was wary of playing a god in the first place, is inconsiderate in any situation) turned into something that I honestly can't handle in-character.

Maybe. And maybe she, who did know, since obviously she is reading my posts, that I'm in the middle of too great a load to handle already, could have considered moving a major plot point forward. Sometimes, considering the state of the other muns CAN make timing important, you know. Which is among the reasons why I haven't posted that fic for Ellen - because Jag has her plate full, and I don't want to subject her to the Paul bleed, in whichever direction it goes, that it will elicit. Consideration. Communication. Attention. Besides, yes, I am pissed off. In the post itself, I did not name names, not even the set of circumstances. It really is not often that I am this angry, and no, I do not claim that I'm perfect or faultless. Or that I have sane cope at the moment. Or any cope. There are good reasons why I have been offline on IMs for a day before that even happeend.

It's godmodding. She doesn't need my permission to do anything, but if she does want me to play around, major plot points need heads-up. It's common courtesy; missing it is a major knee-jerk for me, because I've run into one person too many who didn't extend it, and that resulted in being THIS close to me shutting down any RP. At the very least, it turns 'pretendy fun time games' into wtff? I'm outta here. And ... right, I haven't taken part of the plotting. There wasn't a google doc - which you two decided to crap over the plotting in, anyway; nor have I had suggestions when you were wondering how to get something done.

I know for a fact that neither me, nor Anna, had any clue about that. ANY. There wasn't an ooc post in the journal, there wasn't a note where all of us would be guaranteed to see it, let alone the courtesy to wait for an acknowledgment. (And yes, I do wait for acknowledgment in cases such as these. I can point out examples.)

If mentioning something that jabbed into a spot that was already raw passive aggressive, without naming names and without calling people out, sure. I was passive aggressive. I am stepping back; Ellen is on hiatus, which is as far back as I have ever - ever - stepped back with a muse. I honestly clear with her - and wait for her response about it - MUCH smaller things that happen with common playthings. I did expect the same level of respect and consideration as I extend.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

Godmodding would only apply in the situation, Kiki, if you didn't have a way around it. You were given a clear path. But you have to stop pointing the figure at her a moment and everyone else. This isn't about them, this is about you taking something that you could apply at ANY POINT to your muses. These stories haven't ever taken place on a reasonable timeline, and you should know that that has been a pet peeve of mine.

As for you GDoc-Plot? Yes, you did that. After Ana asked yet again if we could move the plot on. And you made a big GDoc about. But then you guys stopped playing it. And Ana and I waited, and asked and waited. The Hathor plane death? I'd already decide they were going to die I just wasn't sure. I'd honestly forgotten about Hathor's plane deal because you'd mentioned it, and then never brought her up again. And my mentioning their deaths was simply by chance. Otherwise, would we have discussed it at all? And I waited again, a month! Before I decided I was tired of waiting to do something with an active character. Common consideration on your part? Would have been to realize you are/were holding other people up. NO ONE likes to be made to wait, especially by a party that seems to lack any and all interest until PROMPTED repeatedly.

If you want to bring up the past? Fine, but you need to sit down and think about how you've treated others right now. I admit I made a mistake then. I didn't post this new one either, I simply read it am decided if I was going to have it affect Tucker or not.

You've taken something small and made it into something big, and you are being unfair to yourself and everyone else. If we'd known you two have plans for Paul and Ellen, yes it would have changed things. But I would like to point out? I was not aware of that. Why? Because none of you really talk to me, at all. I get IMs rarely from anyone save Ana. And right, I don't IM you guys either, but honestly? I mostly assumed none of you were interested in playing with me.

That aside? Could she have done things better? Of course. She made a mistake, and she admits that. But you've done nothing but make her feel worse. Hurting someone else because they hurt you? Not cool.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

Do I have a way around it? If you really think about it, even just learning about things happening to other people would have to have an effect on my muse. Because. Can I deal with this right now? No. Does it put me in a situation where I will have to deal with it? Yes. Is it small? Yes. Is it something I can process in character right now, or, keeping to it being in character, ignore? No. That last bit alone, when added to 'no heads up', is my definition of godmodding.

The gdocs wasn't carried out because there were things that were not cleared out. Including, yes, when to start it. I honestly didn't know you guys were so impatient about it. Until you'd totally scrapped it, with, again, no heads up.

And I waited again, a month!

Did I know you were waiting for anything in that particular storyline, and being hung up about it? No. Since when we do talk, you have other storylines that seem to be also going; and possibly games outside of sws. I cannot know that you're waiting for that in particular. Unless you tell me. A simple 'how about we start this tomorrow' to all involved would do. It didn't happen with the first plotting, it didn't happen with the plane crash, and it obviously far from happened about this.

Yes. I'm taking something relatively small and making it important. For one, it's the principle; for another, no, it doesn't feel small, on top of all the rest that's happening. Either way, no, I think acting passive-aggressively would have been to just slam the hiatus notice on Hathor's journal without any explanation, as I was tempted to do. Currently, the point is moot. I'm out of your way, not holding you up anymore.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

You didn't ask me either, though. So before you point fingers and say "This is all your fault", just stop and think about it. Communication take two people, and right now Kiki, all I hear is how Ana and I screwed up.

You've not done your part to be on top of things either. And I would appreciate it if you'd only acknowledge that you have just as much fault in the communication as everyone else. You could have asked us to clear things up, you could have asked me when I wanted this done. I'm pretty sure I told you I had wanted it to be soon, and you told me you were having a hard time writing for Hathor.

I took that as a 'do not bother me for it' statement. And I am not the type of person to poke others to play with me. I never wrote out the crash because you said you wanted to, I just had Tucker and Pete react to it because it was something I'd planned for, and left it to you to decide if Ellen was on the same plane or not.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

You said 'close to the holidays'! That does not, in my head, mean either 'asap' or 'in October'!

And no, saying I have a hard time writing Hathor means it takes more nudging, rather than less. If I mean 'don't bother me with this', I say just that.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

But I didn't know that, Kiki. You tell me I have bad communication, but we both failed at it. I admit that I had changed things, but I hadn't heard from you at all. I am not a poker, I've told you that! I know I've told you that, before. And the reason I decided to move things to Oct is because, frankly, Tucker's birthday, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas seemed like far too much all in one place.

Also, since you quoted out log? When I say "i'd been thinking" that usually refers to me having not decided. I will change things as I feel they need to be changed.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

Sure, but when you have already given me a time frame, and haven't let me know that you've changed it, how should I know I need to ask about it?

I honestly have no problem whatsoever sitting on a plot, or even on written fic or fics, until everybody participating in a plot is ready. It kind of stands to reason that those who want it done with sooner should say so. At least to me.

I'm not a poker, either. I can poke about random stuff that may interest somebody, or about an idea I may have, to hear somebody's opinion/input on it before I consider putting it into action. But poking about RP, no, I don't do that. Ever.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

So you are upset with me for being no better than you at poking? I told everyone I thought that really needed and wanted to know about the date. I hadn't heard from you about any of it since the day we'd talked about it, so I assumed (yes, assumed) that you were.not.interested.

Especially since you seemed active elsewhere. Just think about how that looks to me? You are writing and doing all these things elsewhere, and you don't stop to double check if/when I wanted to do things?

Can you honestly tell me you don't understand how that upsets me? I have poked and poked some people to play with me in the past, and gotten threads to start that never finish. I got tired of it. I decided I wasn't going to be that person that had to beg for RP anymore. You've told me you've seen my post and wanted to play but didn't know how to write in, but to me I hear "I saw your post, but I just don't think you are interesting to play with."

So instead of letting it get me down, imagined or not, I just put it in a box over there and focus on moving my plot onward with the people that actively take part with me. Would I have loved for you guys to come play? Yes! Of course! But after a while? After seeing how poking would lead to a brief flurry of activity, then die? I decided there wasn't a point to setting myself up for disappointment.

I am tired of not know what is going on. Because honestly? I've been there too, Kiki. Ana would tell me things like I should know them, and have no idea why I was expect to reply to things, or what was going on. I've sat there and watched people I wanted to play with, play with everyone else and ignore me when I said I wanted to play something. I am not the wallflower, damnit, and I refuse to be regulated into someone's corner as a sidenote.

You cannot expect things to improve on the communication if you aren't willing to work on it yourself as well.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

And I assumed that it was on, as we had discussed - in two or three months' time. That is kinda sorta different from not interested, you know. And no, I am not upset at you not poking more than I do; I am upset about not getting heads-up for the timing of major stuff or stuff that I'd suggested myself that I want to be a part of. Have I ever done that with either to either of you? I know I have a bit more of background on that with Ana; she may not have even noticed, but unless I get her acknowledgment about what is happening, I don't even post not-interaction-requiring fics that involve her muses.

Yes, I am active elsewhere. Having trouble playing/writing Hathor means, among other things, that I don't get pulls out of her, 'do this now', so she ends up essentially reactive. Other muses are different. They give loud reactions to things they even shouldn't; the rant in my head for days until I write a 3 or 5k words fic for them (which, if it involves other muses, gets cleared by the muns before getting posted, too). I don't have that here. But when I have a situation, I work out Hathor's involvement, or try to. Except, outside very simple situations, it takes me a while to work out the exact course of action. That requires time and attention. Which, when I have even a bit of advance warning, I can schedule or prepare for. But I've been getting none. With some muses, I can do that (although not at the moment, the last two weeks, I keep out of ANY sort of plots, because I honestly had a crapload to do. Which those reading my journal could have been aware of.) With a few, Hathor among them, not so much.

*sighs* When I mean 'you are not interesting to play with', I say that. Or rather, I do not remark at all. I may have taken a bit on some threads, but I have always come back to them until they have at least some concept of the story being told, haven't I? That is part of why I have difficulty tagging in - I don't know what to DO with a muse on that post.

We are having brief flurries of activity and shifts all the time. Then we come back. I cannot maintain eight storylines going on at the same time simultaneously. I work a bit on one or three, move them until they reach some point that's (usually) mutually agreeable, then move to others, then come back when the muses of one or more of the people involved feel like it. You see it as dying; I see it as holding until there's reason to move further. And I am willing to move with it, so long as I know it's coming.

Right now, I am not capable of effective communication. The post I made was signifying of that. It means "I'm out of cope, deal with me now at your own risk." I don't know when the stress will let up, this certainly isn't helping. And I KNOW that right now I'm out of it. So, in order to cut the damage on all sides, I'm pulling back from involvement in that plot and letting you guys play it as you wish - I can at this time neither enjoy it nor participate qualitatively. I have been available every time when I've been let know that there's something to discuss. I haven't ignored any messages, on journal or over IM. Outside of honestly struggling with writing a character, whom I like anyhow, I don't see how I have been worse off in communication with you guys than with a number of other people. And yet you two are the ones who end up pushing things IC without OOC warning. No, I am definitely not perfect. But I also do not deserve being pushed into IC situations without anybody paying mind if I'm up to it at the time. Literally and figuratively.

No, EJ. I do not see you as a wallflower. In this sandbox, I see you as a driving force. And rely on letting me know when and in what direction, since my momentum and push is insufficient. But all I get is put before fait acomplits. Which. Isn't always fun-times.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

I think the problem is, you and I both expect different things to show and express interest. Even when I do not play with people, if I'm interested in things I ask questions, and try to make sure I know what's going on instead of waiting for people to tell me. I expect the same things out of the people I RP with, so when I hear nothing for large periods of time, I assume they don't care about what is going on.

And if you are not capable of effective communication, I honestly feel you shouldn't have made your post. You have to have known on some level it was going to upset Ana, and that it was going to lead to this sort of argument/discussion. The problem, as I see it, is you thought that because you weren't feeling up to it, that it didn't matter if other people's feelings were hurt.

Also, the fact that you bring up the past so much proves that the 'we've resolved this' discussions we had wasn't resolved at all. We told you guys how we felt, you guys said you'd try to show us more interest. But you've not done that, or else we wouldn't be back here again.

Also, you've not be pushed into a situation. You have the right to wait until you are ready to handle it to even acknowledge the post. Also, the only people it effects are the people that want it to affect them.

As for your fait acomplits, I have to say this. Ana and I start RP in a place that had no OOC communication, and what little there was, there was no outside plotting. You could have a surprise Orc attach, or thieves raid your camp at any moment. You had no choice but to react to the post. Has it shaped the way we RP? Of course it has! We RPed in that fashion for 5+ years.

Also, I don't feel it is fair of you to rely on me to keep you up to date. If you haven't been keeping up, a simple IM to ask where we are and what is going on seems fair to me. I don't expect you to follow every second, but if I play, or want to play a character more I shouldn't have to rely on every post I make being okayed. And that is how I feel you want us to handle this. You make me feel as if I should IM you about everything I want to do with Tucker, and sometimes I just don't know what I want to do before I do it!

I know I've told you I don't like pre-plotting that much. It takes my drive to write and RP things out, because I know what the end is going to be. I don't enjoy it.

At this point, honestly, I don't think our RP styles are even remotely in line with each other. And like Ana said, we should take a break.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

Yes, different expectations. I started RPing actively in a group of people with which we tended to have many stoylines going on at the same time. I learned to keep track of my characters and letting others know when something was up with them, and people would extend the same courtesy to me, because when there are fifteen things happening, plus real life, nobody could follow and poke at everybody else.

My post contained one line, one very brief paragraph, about a situation that honestly helped stuff that was bad even worse. Did I blame anything entirely on it? No, it had started days before it. Just another brick in the wall. Was I aware that it might upset Ana? Maybe; if she paid attention - which, considering that she dropped a major plot move at a time when it was abundantly clear form my journal that was dealing with a lot already, I was NOT sure was the case at all (and no, during these two weeks, I have NOT been active. I've been struggling to keep with my comm requirements and barely doing that, only exception being one fic that I treated myself to when I had accomplished something. It wasn't even plot-moving one.) Did I aim to upset her? No. Could she have asked about it in other ways, such as e-mail, where nobody would have had to have been the wiser about it? Yes. Did she pay even this much consideration when she made her post? I don't see that.

I only bring up the past because it basically repeats itself. I was willing to put it away and work with what I have before me. Willingness to make suggestions, and write out reactions to what is happening? Is a sign of interest. And you know I have; I may have reasons to not post it for now, but that's separate from unwillingness to play it out. Consider it and you'll see what I mean.

'the only people it affects are the people that want it to affect them' - but will it be what I consider in character if my muse has no reaction? no.

Yes, well, there are good reasons why I avoid that kind of RP situation like the plague. And why I try to contact the people I RP with almost as soon as I see that it is, or might be, interesting to play with them.

I don't tend to see a reason to ask where things are if I'm not aware there's movement in an area. Really. I have a lot of muses, you have a lot of muses, and most of them do not have anything remotely like common spheres of interaction. I don't know when it's time for the ones that do to move forward. I'm not psychic. You know when you want to move your people. I would assume that if it might or you want that to include mine, you'll let me know.

I don't necessarily want to know how something will play out. But I do want to know as much of the premises in advance as possible. Being dropped in the middle of a thread, ic, information that my character should have known and would have acted differently if s/he knew? That's what I don't enjoy.

I am. I just thought that not listening and not explaining my stance when the effort was made, when I don't have the energy to initiate it properly - that would have been passive-aggressive.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

You can't put this all on me, and I won't let you. YOU have the ability to ask as much as I have the ability to poke. The fact that you won't acknowledge that is frustrating me, and makes me feel as if you are just playing a victim card. You have as much responsibility in RP to keep informed as I do to keep you informed. Obviously we both failed.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

Oh, yes, that is so.

The difference is that I have taken no action placing your muse in a situation where the choice is that either the muse reacts, or you feel like you're breaking their consistency in not acting with them. But the underlying issue, yeah, that's true.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

Could have, and should have asked at some point. Neither of you would be in this spot if you had. I didn't even make this post. Set's actions? NOT my doing. Is it something we'd yes. Is it something I should have told you? No, it wasn't MY responsibility to tell you, it wasn't MY doing.

But secondly? Ellen doesn't even HAVE to know this happened, unless you want it to happen. Set didn't do it DO the spell in front of her, there isn't a REASON she should know UNLESS the spell WORKS. If it doesn't work? Why should she know that Set even cast it? Why wouldn't it simply pass her over none the wiser? I mean, Tucker's not going to be remotely aware anything has happened. Why? He's not standing in front of Set who has cast this spell alone and behind closed doors.

Explain to me how Ellen would know about this spell? If you don't want to 'fix' her, you don't have to.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

No, it wasn't your responsibility to tell me about it this time, that is true.

Well, if I wanted to answer that question in detail, I wouldn't be putting her on hiatus, would I? But, briefly, why would 'get 'fixed'' and 'not learn about it' be the only options, while the most logicals ones, from where I'm standing, lie in between those two?

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

Because I want to know how she'd even be aware of the occurrence. That is the issue Kiki. You want to worry about God-modding, I want to worry about OOC knowledge being used IC. What happens that would give her a remote inkling that this happened? If Peter and Paul are not affected, then who does she know that is? How is she clued in? Are you assuming Heru would say something? What happens that makes her aware this has happened? Is it a tug, that she automatically for no reason knows what it means? Because all I see are chances for you to expand her stroyline.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

How about, oh, partially affected? The spell tries to youink Hathor out, but does not succeed - and when its immediate effect passes, leaves Ellen feeling ill - and Hathor possibly aware that something about the spell is familiar? I see that option as completely IC and within the parameters of what the post implied.

[pay_the_piper.insanejournal.com]

Fine so she's partially affected, then what? How can she know Set's used this spell? It is also still optional for you to use that. No one said you had to, and it has nothing to do with being IC. That is a MUN's choice. It isn't as if she's a terrible fighter, and it would be IC for her to get punched if someone tried to hit her. This is a spell that Set very well could have fucked up, he has a history of being terrible at spells.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

*sighs* never mind, the point is moot.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

Yea, the log is from Sep 15, here:

heraldofzeus: k
9:40 AM well, idk what Ana's thoughts are on Di, aside that we agreed to kill them both. I'd been originally thinking of holding off until closer to the holidays just to make Tucker hate me more
me: we can do that. *wry * my writing mojo is kind of missing, so writing can be slow
9:41 AM heraldofzeus: yeah

[notthatjaded.insanejournal.com]

And no, how could I show interest in that part of the plot, since I've never heard of it?

Yes. I'm sorry, but you have. I know I distinctly remember this because I remember you saying you didn't want Set to "fix" Hathor.

I know that Jag has been talked to about it too because she said the same about Paul. I can't speak for whether Anna knew about it beacuse, to be honest, we don't talk and I wasn't sure she really wanted to do much with Peter, anyway.

because there will be consequences to all

Not really. Set did this in private. If the spell never touches Hathor (for instance), she has no reason to know about it. Especially if it doesn't touch Paul either. At this point, the only character not already "fixed" that I know it will affect is mine, David. And before I did that, I was going to talk to Jag about it to see what she wanted to do with Star and Dee.

Is lack of elementary communication

And you're right. I should've at least given a headsup to everybody "hey, I'm about to do this" but again, being honest here? I wasn't going to not make the post no matter what. All it would have done was give you a little longer to know it was coming. But I still feel like I shouldn't have to run everything I think I want to do with my own character (especially when I go out of my way to explicitly state it only affects those who choose it to affect them) by other people. It's like if I were RPing a combat scene with someone, I would say "so-and-so swings a punch at such-and-such", I wouldn't first ask the player, "hey, is it okay if so-and-so tries to punch such-and-such?" and then the player still has the option of whether or not the punch actually connects and we go from there.

And I guess I feel like, you know what? I can't think of a time within the past few months, at minimum, that anyone (save EJ) in this sandbox has come to me wanting to play with my characters or actually do something related to this plot that, yes, has been in the works since summertime. Gosh it would be nice to know you actually cared ahead of time about plotting rather than only hearing about it after the fact when I do something you don't agree with. But I pretty much feel like if I had just let things lie, no one would have brought up wanting to do a thing with Set. Or David. Or whotheheckever.

I'm honestly upset about this. You talk about communication but you went and made a passive-aggressive-sounding post in your lj instead of actually coming to me and saying this bothered you and asking if we could work it out. I feel like I did let those who were ever very much involved know this was coming, even if a lot of time has passed since I said, "hey, Set is totally trying to "fix" all the gods since he screwed it up in the first place, back in the day." I made sure to make it so that his "fix" only affects those who choose it. I don't feel I need your, or anyone's, permission on what my character does or doesn't do.

If that means you're angry and don't want to play with me anymore, that's fine.

But for the record? This wasn't about you. It wasn't malicious. It wasn't a "nasty move" intended to upset anybody. I had had this idea coming for ages now and only last night felt inspired enough to actually make up the post how I liked it. For all I knew, nobody was still following whatever he did anyway and nothing would come of it, but at least I got it out there and I could let that part of his story rest.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

First of all, yes, I did say that I did not want Set to 'fix' Hathor, but that is not the same thing as knowing that he'll try to 'fix' everybody universally. With a single spell at the same time. It came out that it would be kind of how he did with Jack and Diana. Which, you surely see it, is a totally different thing. But no, since I'm tapping out of there, I'm going to go into why it should, if played well, have consequences on everybody, one way or another.

Anna has said that no, she didn't know, which was the second time you blindsided her with something that her muse will need to react to, the first being Jack and Diana's deaths. Again, it's not a question of Okaying. It's a question of heads up so the mun can mentally prepare for the backlash from the muse. You two might not get muse bleeds, but the rest of us aren't that lucky. I'm spending enough time curled up crying over real stress to be willing to take up more for a muse without warning. Honest.

I haven't asked because I've relied on you guys, who have been playing there for way longer (e.g., I had NO IDEA THAT IT WAS SET who he screwed it up in the first place, back in the day. I'm missing important pieces of information, and I know it. So I depend on you guys to let me know when something should be happening. And have been let down twice now.

FYI, I've been reading all the threads of Set and Heru or Set and Star or David and Star or David and Dee, etc., etc., that I've been able to find. (Some, by the time I get up, have been buried so deep back in the posts that, since they don't get linked, I miss. As I pointed out above, you guys do the play while I'm physically not able to either participate in it or follow it and react accordingly. Which can be worked around in some cases; it doesn't, in all. Because everything has to happen NOW OMG no bendy time or anything. As the previous plot attempt showed.) And yes, I think it's interesting. But between the two snafus, I have no wish to try to play in that sandbox. It's just too much effort and too little consideration.

No, I do not want to not play with you anymore - it's too interesting. Not sure I want to tangle with your gods, though. Yes, I'm angry, but that shall probably pass.

I didn't say it was malicious. I said it came off as a nasty move - it was inconsiderate, and the timing turned it into much worse, for me in particular. If a sentence about somebody godmodding - and it is that - without naming names or giving specifics is passive aggressive, then so be it. But I am honestly out of cope enough to cut down on personal communication such as IM, and have been for more than a day before I even saw that post. And definitely sufficiently out of cope enough to not have the energy to reach personally to anybody, anybody at all. Make of that what you will.

[notthatjaded.insanejournal.com]

All I'm seeing here is that we're obviously of two very different minds about what happened here. I, for one, do not see what I did as godmodding (since that would have constituted me categorically stating what was done directly affecting what happened to your character and how your character reacted to it). I also feel like I must have said this was Set's plan to you. If I didn't, I'm sorry, but I feel like that came up. Maybe I somehow only told Jag and EJ, it's possible.

And the more I think about it, the more I think we need to give each other a break. You may be willing to play with my other characters but I'm not sure I am.

[kikibug13.insanejournal.com]

I see any major action that potentially affects other people's characters carried out without specific acknowledgment that the mun is aware it's coming as godmodding. And even if the spell does not affect a certain muse directly, it will, in other ways, unless they literally do not know anybody.

As you will.